Recognizing Legitimate and Illegitimate Guilt, Shame, and Regret

The last two weeks I filled the pulpit for a pastor friend of mine. Keeping up this blog took a back seat, needless to say.  I’ve known the pastor for over a decade and he is a true shepherd through and through. I have preached from pulpits from the west coast to the east coast, both as a pastor and guest speaker, ministering God’s Word. When I’ve stood in front of a local body of believers who have a biblical shepherd who cares for them and disciples them in and according to the Scriptures, there is a freedom from the pulpit and a warmth and joy poured upon you from the congregation.

I have also preached in local churches where it was more difficult to deliver the Word of God than wade through a tar pit … wearing snowshoes.

The message I brought this last Sunday was out of 2 Corinthians 7:8-12 on the subject of Guilt, Shame, and Regret (GSR).  What’s more commonly tagged: “godly sorrow.” It is clear in the OT and NT that there is both a legitimate and illegitimate GSR. One leads to repentance and produces diligence, zeal, fear, and vindication among other godly responses, whereas Illegitimate GSR goes too far and will drown you (2 Cor. 2:7), smoother you, and drive you away from Christ.

Some of the common lies from illegitimate guilt, shame, and regret are:

  • Jesus won’t forgive you. You’ve gone too far.
  • You’ve committed the unpardonable sin.
  • God won’t listen to your prayers; you’re not worthy.
  • How could God love you after what you’ve done?
  • How could God love you after what has happened to you?

If you hear these lies, go to the Gospel. Don’t wait for Sunday morning. Don’t wait for a sign. Preach the Gospel to yourself and rely on the work of Jesus Christ.

A Third Side

There is another side, another approach/view of guilt, shame, and regret that sadly is alive in our American Christian culture.  It is popularized by the “positive gospel” preachers and by a miss understanding of who we become in Christ. It goes something like:  “If you feel guilty about something, rebuke it, ignore it, and cast it down because it is not of God.” Then a person is to make a quick confession of “There is therefore now NO condemnation …” from Romans 8:1. Basically, it is taught that “GSR is an attack on your faith and who you are in Christ.”  But the truth is the opposite of that statement.

  • One writer called this “Preaching a False-Positive.”
  • This type of theology denies sin.
  • I John 1:8-2:2 rebukes the believer who says they do not sin and/or has no sin.
  • This theology denies the propitiation of Christ.
  • It denies reality.

The Legitimate Work of Guilt, Shame, and Regret

All GSR should lead us to restoration at the Cross and that is where it should stop. If you are haunted or beaten up by GSR, then it has turned from legitimate GSR into a Mr. Hyde. If this is happening, preach the Gospel to your Mr. Hyde and “cling to the old rugged cross”—to the Gospel that saves.

Remember the promise:  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall receive comfort.”  This is speaking to the believer who mourns over his/her sin with GSR.  Sincere, heart-felt repentance includes accepting the guilt of your sin; being ashamed of your sin; and regretting your sinfulness. Faith in your repentance will bring comfort, restoration, and zeal.

“Evidence that you truly repented and sought Christ is that you are still repenting daily and seeking Christ.”

If You Speak Against Me …

“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, “He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.” ~ Epictetus

This is the response of love as Jesus taught.

This is not the way of the worldly minded who prefer self-justification and/or revenge. The person who puts his identity and personhood in how others view him will react in a defensive mode or be wounded.

He who accepts that he is who he is only by the grace of God:

  1. Will not deny his imperfections and sinfulness, but can agree with them. I John 1:8-10 reminds us not to deceive ourselves and call God a liar by denying that we have many faults and that we do blow it. Yes, we do sin, but we have an advocate who is also our propitiation, and He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
  2. Will see himself through the blood of Christ and through the opinions of others. He knows that the acceptance that actually counts in life is not from accusers, but from the Defender–Jesus Christ.  His image is found in Christ Jesus, not in whether he fits into the world or conforms to the world’s mold. The Apostle Paul wasn’t relying on the approval of man, but of God. Should we not follow in those footsteps? (Galatians 1:10)
  3. Will not be afraid of words spoken against him by man. He cares what God says about him. Such a person expects the unbelieving world to think of him as strange, as one who is of a different world or different set of values and standards. After all, are we not living according to another kingdom, under a king not of this world? (Psalm 27:1-3)
  4. Will be able to remain at peace and in joy because he has a mediator, Jesus Christ the Righteous, who has silenced the accuser before the throne of God. He knows that the righteousness of Christ Jesus has been imputed to his account and nothing can remove it, for nothing can take away what Christ has given. (Romans 831-39)
  5. Will bless and pray for those that speak against him. (Matthew 5:43-48)

If anyone tells you that you’re a no good, rotten sinner who deserves hell (probably adding some flowery adjectives mixed in the description), reply with gentleness and meekness with,

“Yes, I know. And you don’t know the half of it. But God, who is rich in mercy, forgave me of all that stuff when Jesus Christ bore my sins and their penalty when He was on the cross. And if He did it for this rotten sinner, He can do it for you. Would you like to know how?”

This video is from Shane and Shane, “Embracing Accusations.” The lyrics may even surprise you. The message is sound biblical truth to live by.

How Do You Know That You Know?

I John 2:4 says, “Now by this we know that we know Him, if …”

I’ll leave the rest of the scripture for you to look up. Remember to read it in its context.

In the meantime, try this video on for size. This short video has a kick and it’s worth the beating. Whether you’re familiar with Paul Washer or not, check out on Youtube what is referred to has his shocking youth message. But it’s not just for youth.

Three Responsibilities for the Christian Writer (Part II)

Picking up from last’s week’s post. These also apply to every type of occupation and/or hobby.

#1. Walk / live / work in the Light

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked (I John 2:6 ESV).”

The context of this scripture refers to a life walking in the light, as He is in the light (I John 1:6-7). This light, in its context, is purity, holiness, and for us–godliness. Whatever we are doing, it should be in the light, the light of godliness. Whether work or play, it should be framed by our faith and Christian worldview and displayed in godliness.

How does this relate to writing? I need to ask myself: Is the content of my writing godly or godless? Does my writing promote and/or glorify ungodliness, deceit, or other things that are of the darkness? I may have characters and scenes that have such attributes, but what emphasis do I put on them? Do I make characters who live ungodly lives to be heroes in my stories (Proverbs 3:31-33)?  Is a worldly lifestyle glorified (I John 2:15-17)?

Wouldn’t you agree that Christians have the responsibility to make truth and error clear, as opposed to cloudy and uncertain?

II Corinthians 4:2-3 ” But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God’s word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing (ESV).”

Whether you realize it or not, we are a living epistle read by all. We need to commend ourselves to every reader’s conscience in the sight of God.

#2. Biblical Accountability

Last week’s post touched on the need for my wife to keep me in line if and when the two of us need to visit a local “Christian” bookstore. Why? When I see some of the books that are being pushed (promoted) under the guise of Christian literature within the Christian community my blood pressure hits the red zone. I emphasis “some,” not all books.

A person could conclude by what is sold under the banner of Christianity that it doesn’t matter if a book (fiction or non-fiction) is biblically accurate and spiritually healthy. At any given week some of the more popular “Christian” books (that’s just a disguise) are at best spiritually unhealthy and/or aberrant. At worst, they are heretical leading readers to embrace non-biblical ideas about God, the work of Jesus, and the foundational truths of the Christian faith.

Someone may ask, “But do they sell?” “Is the author well known?”

Sadly, these types of questions have ruling authority in a good portion of the Christian marketplace.

Several years ago I was in contact with an executive of a chain of Christian bookstores regarding a certain book that they were displaying on their “in your face best seller rack.” The book was indeed selling like Starbuck’s Pumpkin Spice Lattes, yet it was full of heresies (from universal salvation to a cross with no saving power, to an assassination of the character and nature of God). I was told that the executives had initially pulled the book after realizing its errors, but decided to put it back on the shelves after assessing the great demand by the public. I was told that although they had realized the book’s errors, they decided that it could help people. Really? Because my children want to eat poison, I warm it up and put it on their plates and give it my blessing? Where is the responsibility to the truth?

I’ll leave the details of the conversation alone, you get my point, especially since I have just finished my morning coffee and the caffeine wants me to launch into a righteous indignation rant along with other self-righteous sins. It’s best that I move on.

We should care about the Body of Christ, and we should be defenders of the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints (Jude 3). If you are a Christian writer who references scripture, in any way, go the extra mile to make sure that you are interpreting the scriptures correctly. We never want to be lazy in the use of God’s Word and miss handle it. We do have an obligation to accurately represent the Christian faith, as well as how it should be lived out.

2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth (ESV).”

#3. Glorifying God in All that We Do.

This should be both the means and the end in our work. Does God care how many “Christian” books are sold, or … does He care if we honor His Name and uphold the banner of truth? As Christians we need to ask ourselves if what we are writing is glorifying the living God or something else … or someone else.

Here are some questions to check the “Glory Meter”—who is getting the glory in my writing. How do I handle receiving compliments and praise for my work? How do I handle criticism? Do I pray before, during, and after I write? Am I depending on the Spirit of God to help me in this endeavor? Who do I want to please first and most with my writing?

I Corinthians 10:31-33 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved (ESV).”

The Last Word

Someone may respond with, “But sometimes you have to compromise to sell books. This is how the system works. If I don’t give the market what it wants, I’ll never sell books. If I can’t sell books, I might go out of business.”

Popularity should never out-weigh our responsibilities, our love of truth, and our reverence to the Name of the Holy One. We must remember that what is right is more important than what works!

“O’ Father, Hallowed be Thy Name in all my endeavors!”